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I need to blog about something other then sports again. I feel dry, boring and otherwise irrelevant. For good measure too, I haven't written a post on something meaty in a long time. This is also for good measure as I have needed time to review and collect myself and my thoughts.

During this period much change has occurred, both mentally and spiritually. Physically I have probably just gotten fatter, so we will leave that out. Mentally and spiritually, I believe, I have grown. Since my ordeal some months ago, I have been in a state of process, a state of revival and renewal. It has been quite interesting. I was engaging in some dialogue with a guy last week. He said it was crazy how someone my age could have found his own identity. This got me thinking, what is my identity. I didn't truly believe what he said was correct. But after much thinking I figured he was right, as I found out he was through my thoughts.

Since poop hit the fan way back when, I have had a crazy time trying to figure out my place. I have taken much advice from a couple people that I look up to greatly. These people have helped my understand and identify myself in life, and in God.

In life, I'm 21, my life is pretty simple apart from the fact I'm engaged and own a house. Other then that, simple. In God, it's a different story. For a while I had become, more or less, derailed from God's wild ride. It wasn't that I didn't believe, not at all, but I was tired of living without question, without thought, without learning. Frankly, I still am, and will always be. But the problem was my questioning was ill-advised. It lacked the 3 T's, tact, taste, and timing, all to some degree (Thank you Mrs Plett) To much thought went into how to argue, how to go against the norm, how to stir the pot and create chaos. Too little thought went into trying to understand ones side, ones experiences. I much rather say my point, and then defend it with all I had, anything that I could put together, believing it or not. I won't lie, arguing for the sake of just that can be pretty fun, but it gets you nowhere.

I think God starting working in me at this point. I started to try and think about others. I developed a sense of wanting to help others out, rather then put them down. I can attribute these things to 1. a book I was reading and 2. talking to people. God shows himself through others, he speaks through others, I have known this for years, but rarely did I see. But this time it was clear as day.

Things to live by: Stay positive. Help out regularly. Be a servant to others. Not bad I would say, coming from a 21 year old. These things sound so cliche, so phony. But it works. Being a natural skeptic, I found being positive helps stupendously. Helping out, and more specifically, being a servant to others also pays dividends.

Serving others will allow yourself to be served. A sense of joy comes from serving others. And serving others is what God asks us to do. Being Jesus to other people is best served....ok no puns, but being Jesus is service, it's being selfless instead of selfish.(Another word that has much significance)

My newfound identity of myself and myself in God I hear is rare at my age. It's nothing to gloat about, I've been through a lot to get to where I am. It hasn't been easy, and I'm sure the hardest parts are still on the horizon. But my understanding of what God wants me to be, a Man of God, a Man after His own heart, is a testament to how a bad period can be truly beneficial.

I've never liked getting my ass handed to me, but sometimes it's more necessary then anything else possible.